You just cant keep a good man down .
Hi everyone this is a story about birth control and about me eventually having a vasectomy.
It will be quite graphic in some detail but in other detail I have to hold back a little bit for personal reasons but the story goes like this.
I was happily married and Pauli and I had, already had our first child Ben. Pauli had a good pregnancy except for a scare of an eggtopicsl pregnancy right at the start ,
I was so excited to become a father, but I still didn’t quite know what to expect back then I thought in my mind that I wanted five or six kids like my own tribe but one would be good for a start , or would it be?
When Ben was born it was the proudest moment in my life , although he had the cord wrapped around his neck and he came out blue medical staff soon took care of that and handed me Ben to hold and I cut the cord and welcome him in to the world. I was as proud as punch.
This feeling of proud and of euphoric didn’t last for very long.
Ben was a cry baby .
He would cry all the time day and night and this went on for so long.
I was slowly going insane. I went and put earplugs in without Pauli knowing just to try and get some sleep , because I have to work early in the morning and I’ve Bens crying was keeping me awake forever
There’s no real answer to the reason why although one day when Pauli was washing and bathing him. He cried but he cry was actually in pain. As a little lump appeared and came up in his groin and Pauli knew straight away that Ben had an ingrinal hernia,
so went straight to the doctors. They booked him in straight away for an operation. That was the most nervous time in my life watching my little baby son being wheeled away for surgery , hoping everything would be fine.
I think both me and Pauli just held each other so tight while , we waited for the news of our precious Ben ,
It’s still a worrying thought.
Ben came out of the surgery a completely different child.
He was a perfect baby and the perfect child.
He never cried.
Even when he got hurt.
He was tough as nails and such a little gentleman.
He made me smile a lot.
There was a lot of love in our house, but Pauli just asked me fairly often about having more children and that it was unfair for Ben to be a lone child and eventually I agreed so Pauli fell pregnant and was later to give birth to my second son Dylan who I felt exactly the same about at the birth but he came out in a hurry like a rocket ship.
He was in a rush to get out and I got to cut his cord as well and welcome him in our life’s.
So we are now family of four.
Bringing up two kids on basically single income and a low income was difficult and at times even more so difficult.
I sold my beloved motorbike at one time to help pay the bills. Then we decided we wouldn’t have any more children Pauli would’ve had her tubes tied except she has got John’s Crohn’s disease so I thought it was completely unfair and too risky to ask her to have another operation so I’ve stuck up my hand and I volunteered for vasectomy.
This is where I warn you the reader to not continue if you are easily offended by reference to human body parts and operating procedures as it’s quite graphic in its description and detail.
A note to you that read on
Also this is the most difficult thing that I have just written now as describing it I could remember just exactly how it felt , the difference is this time around I could cry .
I thought about the vasectomy for a while . And I asked a lot of friends if they had one and what it was like until I asked I mate from
Cape Patterson.
And he told me don’t worry Curly it doesn’t hurt a bit.
You don’t feel anything. You can actually take the newspaper in there and read it.
It Is that relaxing so don’t stress. You’ll be fine.
So after that encouraging advice, I struck up the courage to make a doctors appointment and then forward booking the surgery.
The big day came and of course Pauli came along with me for both support and curiosity with her being a SEN nurse.
She has seen the odd procedure but never a vasectomy before .
So we made it to the hospital. I drove up and I got ready for the procedure dressed in a special hospital gown and a nurse showed me in to the surgery theatre and onto a chair a bit like a dentist chair,
so I sat in there with the newspaper in my arms talking to Pauli when the surgeon came in , and his name was
Phil Eweington ,
he was a younger surgeon that had been in Wonthaggi for a fair while but it was the first time that I’d come across him pardon the pun.
He was friendly enough and then he started by injecting my scrotum with anaesthetic to numb the pain.
I thought I’d be smart and start to read the newspaper but when he first started cutting my sack. I thought that’s weird. I felt something going on down there. Pauli then asked him to give me more anaesthetic and he flatly refused.
I didn’t think much of it and I kept reading the newspaper until he look up and exclaimed to us that your vasticular tube is attached and grown on to the side of your sack and become a. part of your sack inner wall. ,and because It’s grown together I have to tear it off and detach it before I can cut it.
He then grabbed a pair of like stainless steel flat nose pliers and inserted them into the hole he had already made and cut into my sack.
He then grabbed the tube hard as he could with the pliers as he pulled just as hard on it with his other hand holding it all as still as possible the first time he pulled I was completely instantly overcome by pain and frozen , the toes on my feet had curled right over and on my hands my fingers my fingers had clenched that tightly. I thought they would go through my palms and the pain was so intense so incredible.
I thought for a while in my mind that my good mate had lied to me , and I prayed for the courage to bear the pain and continue and so I just tried to ride through the pain , I couldn’t have cried if I wanted to I was stone silent .
I was speechless and breathless all at once laying there and all I thought and could picture in my head at the time was it’s like the movie I had recently watched , it was Brave heart with William Wallace in the end on the public bench then they authorities gored him in front of the crowd.
I could see and feel it.
In my stomach It was so incredibly intense.
I must’ve eventually growned and Pauli said to me are you alright? And I couldn’t even answer. She looked into my eye and asked can you feel that?She saw the answer .
No she yelled loudly to stop at the doctor.
Curly can feel that, he absolutely arrogantly said back that I’m nearly done , on this side.
So he continued and then finished up that side and he sat up said to me do you want me to stop
now?
I said no you can’t stop. Only halfway through you have to keep going .
And I prepared myself to go though the same procedure,
Pauli begged him.
To give me more and aesthetic.
The doctor finally complied.
The stupid part was then my hands and my feet un curled and was so relaxed that I could read the fricking paper.
I was devastated and in pain and so shocked that Doctor could actually do that to me.
The other side was just as my mate had described.
After we left hospital we both went out for lunch. My balls were on fire. My gut was wounded. It was like it pulled my intestines through my sack and cut them off. I thought he had actually killed me off as a man .
After lunch , when we got home, I was so concerned that my manhood would never work again so I had an idea and along with Paulis protests , I decided to test it out , which was a big mistake because it worked but it felt like someone pushed a knife straight through my stomach and I landed on the floor crying like a baby .
What a painful day .
Paulie said see I told you so I told you not to do that but I just couldn’t help it .
So on a few fronts, people had lied to me.
They told me you wouldn’t feel it.
They told me it wouldn’t change. They told me and it takes a few weeks for to activate.
All of these to me were lies.
Number one I felt everything and a pain to go with it that was undescribable,
secondly my sperm completely changed colour and consistency and my sperm had actually became a clear type runnier fluid.
The timeframe for safe sex was a complete delusion.
After the trauma the doctor put me through my body became how would you say infected? So I had to go on antibiotics a few days later , I had been working on a car lying on the ground at the panel shop. The car door was open and I stood up quickly from the ground from and I hit my forehead just above my eyes with the point of the bottom of the door at full pace.
It also hurt me quite a bit.
My head bled out a bit and that was that and because of the infection that I had raging through my body it actually became a big lump on my forehead like half a golf ball on my head and like an abscess which eventually it burst on its own and bled and disappeared and left this scar on my forehead Which I referred to later on to people as my vasectomy scar , because in fact it is as it’s a true story.
So another part to this saga which isnt over just yet you have to take in a little special specimen jar with a yellow lid and your name written on it in every Friday afternoon in a paper bag also named like play lunch,
like a fresh hot sample of sperm to be tested by a scientist under microscope , to see if it was still active and live or if it was safe now from making your partner pregnant , it’s called a sperm count .
I failed so many of these tests so after about the fourth month of testing I made another appointment to go and see Phil Ewington at the Wonthaggi clinic.
He seems surprised to see me and I’ll let him have it with all my woes , from his torturing me to the procedure being a failure as I was still shooting out live sperm.And l pointed out my scar in my head .
He sat there looking very uncomfortable and quite nervous on the other side of the desk and he told me that sometimes with strong people the tubes join back up by themselves,
So maybe with me trying to make the best of a situation I said back to him , that they always say you can’t keep a good man down and maybe I’m a good man.
I left the office not much happier and then the colour came back into his skin .
finally after six months enough time had passed and I actually passed the sperm count test test ,
Hmm
I just had a thought maybe my mate the scientist put some of my sperm in the freezer by accident,
So I have two mighty fine boys and I can’t have any more children now unless I want to,
and lately have felt the urge to have a little princess in my life and maybe a prince but that’s in a dream and unfortunately for that idea I need to find a real life princess to make that dream possible and she needs to meet me and fall in love with me.
We will live like in the fairytales in a kingdom that’s showing and teaching people how to love again .
It’s not rocket science it’s a dream and sometimes if you wish hard enough dreams can come true and everybody can be happy.
That’s the way you’re supposed to be at least I
I know at the end of the day I’ve done my best that’s important to me.
To finish with some lighthearted humour
When people ask me what I would never do again the answer is always that I’ll never have another vasectomy ,
And I show my scar .
lol
Cheers xxx
Curlyg