Hello everyone ,
where  were we in my
Curls and Boon romantic novel ,
ah yes I was divorced ,dejected and completely on my own and  I didn’t really like It one bit at all. 

That’s when I eded up desperate for company and on Oasis an internet dating site , that’s well documented in other stories and  there I copped everything from being catfished to whipped on the ass ,
I copped the lot with no success.

I was so jealous when  Id see other loving couples id be upset by this site of affection.

I did manage to land a girl I sort of knew that lived in Traralgon and for a while she was my girlfriend and her and her two boys moved in .
I was wrapped to be loved again was all I needed,

My partners boys the eldest was about eight and the youngest was about six .
The eldest boy had special needs and was hard to handle apparently and he would throw bad tantrums at the drop of a hat anywhere anytime.
He was on Ritalin to treat his problems.
The other child was an angel .
I had never delt with such a child before and he reminded me  of me a bit and we actually got off on the right foot , and I soon discovered that his mum basically raided his medication non stop.

So as time went on that young boy and me had a thing going on ,
I had worked out what was wrong early on and I understood him completely as he was the same as me and he craved his fathers attention.

So I became his  best friend ,
i took him yabbie’ing in a mates dam and I let him drive through the paddocks in my car ,
it was fun, fast ,scary and exciting, but best of all he became a good driver at the ripe old age of eight and a good mate.

Soon after it became apparent that their mother couldn’t keep her pants on and they soon all shifted out of my house leaving me absolutely devastated about loosing the kids as I was totally attached to them by then,

What another round of heartbreak, was install for me .

So i did hook up with different chicks on and off for years  but it still left me feeling empty inside as I want love 

So then came the second one that I actually perused . She had two kids a 12year old man hater young lady , and about a 8 year old son .
The daughter was very bright and the son had learning difficulties and poor eye sight.

I chased this chick for ages and eventually we were together.
I was in Heaven again , the daughter absolutely hated me and she made that quite clear and my life hell .

My girlfriend drank a half a dozen stubbies a night and we were quite social.

After a few months we all moved in together and I was so happy to be back  in love once more.
The young boy  was actually smart and I spent a bit if time teaching him to read and right  and a bit of spelling as his school grades and reports were terrible  , slowly but surely they began to change ,

The daughter began to fall in love with me , even giving me cuddles now and then , to my complete surprise.
But it was wonderful.

It was then that I thought that I had found my place in life and I was finally loved again .
I should have known better as my partner began to drink more every night up to a dozen stubbies in a session , she was an alcoholic .

The worst bit was that with the increased alcohol so also increased the level of jealousy and violence would then arrive.

She would ask me if I loved Tamara and I would answer yes , that response would lead to a hard punch in the head .
The first time I was astounded and In total disbelief of what was happening, once I had been drinking and I jumped into my car to escape the nonsense and I blew my breath at the station I believed it was .072 or a low reading .

I lost my license for three months I believe and then I said after the assault’s kept happening to myself that if she dared to do it again I’m straight  out of here .

The next night she asked me the trigger question and I braced myself as my answer hadn’t changed and it was still a yes,

This time she had a mobile phone in her hand and she fair smashed it hard into my face ,
This time I slept in the spare room , she visited me there I couldn’t believe it ,
I was just horrified and terrorised.

The next morning when i woke and everyone else was gone , I went out the farm and I got my trailer and backed it in the driveway and proceeded to fill it with all of my belongings and it was afternoon by then and my now x partner rang as if nothing had happened at all and she asked me what I was doing  , so I told her. She screamed at me and in an instant her mum and the two kids were standing in the kitchen watching me packing up sobbing to them selves it was so heartbreaking 

For all of us especially the young lady ,

My partner turned up yelling and screaming at me and  I said something and she picked up a heavy vase off the bench and she threw it hard half towards me but straight through the glass sliding door , it exploded with a boom and a huge crash of broken glass,
The young girl was bawling now and she yelled out loud, not another man that I love  leaving my life.

This stuffed me right up completely, and I left the house for the last time with a heavy heart and shaking my head

Thats Twice

And the kids are the ones who suffer the most in break ups .

So the good bit is just a while ago I went through a fast food drive through,
When Iwent to the pay window a young man with a deep voice asked me if I was Curly Gardner?
I said yes why?

He said that he was that young boy and he remembered me well he was now so tall and awkward and so polite and he proved that he could at least add up , so in passing it was so nice to see what he had become , such a fine young man all those years later ,

Well that must bring us up to the now. 

After my experiences i decided that I would make myself a shit love list to outline with what i wanted and what I expected from a possible future relationship.

I printed it out , Tamara thought it was funny.

I think I’m good with kids but  I want a woman with no kids to give me a chance to fall more in love with her and we can just have kids later .
I remember there was not a big drinker , on the list someone special, someone who sings a bit , somebody with the time , someone thats actually available,  ect

So as you can see that sort of limits my options a bit ,but I sort of had a dream that I find a real live princess 

 and I try and get her attention so maybe she might notice me.
This sort of hadn’t really worked and im getting so many fake Kylie profiles gee even Ben made one up a few years back to tease me with it from the lounge room and teach me a valuable lesson.
On fake and real.

So my
Love 

 life isn’t that bad as a few women have approached me and I tend to send them packing with my I just had a grinder date and I cant sit down joke ,
they cant deal with that one so I blow them off as inside I feel that somehow the princess has seen me and I’m not sure what was next but I might need hour help as I don’t know how to catch a princess 

  is there a special technique?
Or trap?

I know. 
A dowry
Hmm
Maybe she would like to date a man that’s trying to help her country.
That way in a free world it would be a big brand new kingdom and the knight that fought so hard and gallantly taking off his armour to show that he is the prince from some old time history standing there .

He approaches the princess carefully and  quietly his eyes locked tight in a gaze with hers burning some chemistry deep in their hearts 

I took her hand and I gave her a special gift from the heavenly father to prove my worth and I daydreamed of marrying this one , so many times .
as she is definitely the one for me .

Then we would be just like the song we sing from
David Bowie
Hero’s

King and Queen
And the leaders of our country Australia 

And we would serve the people.

And God

Cheers xxx
Curlyg