Hello everyone,
I have had the opportunity to spend more time with Max and his wife recently which proved to be both informative and interesting .
I have also recently borrowed a book from a friend that’s published by Dementia Australia and its called The Dementia Guide, just to do a bit of research into the disorder ,mainly so I am more informed and aware of Max’s condition and his likely symptoms and behavior patterns.
This book is easy to read and has been designed to make understanding Dementia for everyone including those that are effected as simple as possible. The first interesting fact that i found is just how many Australian people are effected by Dementia, and in fact it’s a whopping half a million people along with a further 1.6 million people that are involved in their care.
So its a substantial disorder in our country.
So during my respite time so far with max , we have quite a lot of discussions about lots of various interesting topics. As we speak about things I get to understand him and his character more by both what he says and his mannerisms like his facial expressions.
Because Max also has Parkinsons disease , the specific type of dementia he also has is linked directly to it, and it is called Lewy body disease, that has its own list of quite specific symptoms that can in some cases can also include hallucinations, so sometimes as Max and I speak , mid sentence he says things that are quite real to him in his mind, but not real to me, this happens at this stage a few times during my visits and I expect that there frequency will increase as his state of mental health further deteriates over time.
For example we may be chatting about the AFL and in mid sentence he might say out of the blue something like that I have just been in Perth talking with my mum Curly , but I instantly realize that for a number of reasons that this is not possibly true as he is sitting there with me and unfortunately his mother is no longer alive . This took me quite by surprise the first time but I didn’t react and I just continued chatting to Max just as normal. Now whenever it happens I just do the same thing and I basically ignore it and we continue with our conversation that we are having like nothing happened.
So now that I have spent more time I can see that Max is still reasonably highly functioning but afflicted with specific problems, like standing up from a chair is quite difficult and most tasks to do with his shaking hands are also difficult , but he understands exactly in his mind at this stage what he has going on with his developing Dementia and Parkinsons disease and he sort of just accepts that situation he faces as the cards that he has been delt in life. What is interesting that what he finds it incredibly difficult to accept was that when his disorders became apparent , that Vic Roads took his drivers license away and cancelled it.
Max knows my dad Curly senior ,and I mentioned that the same thing had happened to dad but the reason for him was poor vision caused by macular degeneration. He asked me if dad was pissed off about loosing his license like he is ? and I answered yes ,he is even though it was over five years ago, and that I do understand their frustration with it as it instantly takes away most of their independence. Max then went on to say to me that he thought as he lives out of town it was still ok now for him to drive into town in the case of an emergency. I assured him that this wasn’t the case and in an emergency he would have to pick up the phone and dial 000 that is a much better idea.
I have put a quite a bit of thought into the whole situation in front of me and I realize that maybe there is a reason that we have both been brought together and that Max is now a new part of my life that i will enjoy learning things both from him and about him as time passes us by, we have already struck up a good solid friendship in a short amount of time, that I totally value.
The one thing that does bother me a quite bit is that i have to watch his physical and mental state deteriorate over time in front of my eyes as I know that I probably will become more emotionally attached to Max as our friendship grows.
They do say that friends enter your life for a reason and that its for A short time A long time , or A Lifetime ,
Unfortunately with Max and I it is going to be a short time, so ill try my hardest to make it a great time.
Cheers
Curlyg xxx