Hello everyone, anyone would think that after my first quite disturbing date from Oasis , coupled alongside also with my electronic separation from my mate , that I would have learned my lesson and just given up .
But like any red blooded Aussie male I don’t actually learn fast .
So I continued to use Oasis hoping to snag a date and I found at first it was a bit of a novelty and after a while it began to be a bit of an obsession and I found that I would be active online most evenings, I had still quite often heard of people meeting up and falling in love even early on using the site .
This wasn’t me, I just fumbled around and I did over not too long have a few more dates and I also had made a few connections with contacts that I chatted to regularly back then that I’m still in contact with to this day even though I haven’t ever met a few of them in person we all developed a great friendship and a connection that still exists.
It was sort of like a bunch of so different misfits that we just fitted .
So the next date that I had gone on , I Was completely happy to meet a normal woman, and after I had been chatting to a young lady from Cranbourne area for probably a period of a month casually before we both decided it was time to now meet in person , and to be fair we both agreed that we meet in Grantville at the bakery , for coffee sort halfway for both parties.
Of course like the first date I was excited at meeting up as this time there were a few more profile photos available that I could see online , so I knew exactly just what to expect .
As I parked the car I looked at the people sitting at the tables outside as that’s where we agreed to meet .
I walked past them all looking for her and I thought she isn’t here yet , it was then I heard someone call out my name .
I turned to that voice and totally didn’t recognise the woman sitting there in front of me at that table and she beckoned me to come over , held out her hand and introduced herself ,
I couldn’t believe that I had been totally deceived and catfished again.
This time I was pretty pissed off and had a bit of a crack at her.
I asked her what the hell was going on and that she didn’t look anything at all like the profile photos as it was actually a few pictures of someone else.
To my surprise she had the ordacity and guts to look me in the eye and say
Oh well we are here now so let’s have a date .
Like come on how can you have a meaningful conversation with an imposter?
I couldn’t deal with it this time so I soon excused myself and headed home completely despondent and alone again .
But I also had some other dates and meet and greets that were quite ok and pleasant , it’s just they all lacked any romantic spark and that necessary chemistry , so we just parted ways.
One of these dates was particularly interesting because you can tell even by typing sometimes if you have any common interests or attraction to an someone’s personality.
A lot of people actually call each other on the phone also but it’s not my style as I’m just as shy speaking on the phone initially especially if I have never met the person face to face.
I would love to call this lady by her real name but I just can’t because the story about our date that will come later could be considered to be a bit of a sensitive subject so for the exercise I will call her Anna.
Now obviously when you chat on line you ask each other questions in order to get to know each other.
So we went through the basics and then it got a lot more interesting when I asked her what she did for a job , she told me that by trade she was a genetic scientist and had been working in a building in a laboratory in Melbourne,
Her job was to work on improving genetics in racehorse’s , of course I asked her a million questions about that at once at once as it sparked my interest and it turns out that it was discovered and scientifically proven there that for every thing you I improved on the horse something else weakened, like to make the horse’s heart genetically stronger , its calf muscle would shrink or its lungs would weaken . I found this incredible , Anna worked there right up untill Dolly the famous cloned sheep was born there , in the lab next to hers and then she decided to quit as she found that was completely unethical .
So she swapped her career into food ,
funny thing is now they are genetically modifying that and feeding it to us the people ,
Is that ethical?
So we to and frowed for a while before meeting up for not really a date as such but for a casual drink at her place that was about an hours drive from home.
So when I got to Anna’s place and finally met her it was also quite interesting as I found out quickly that she was a little independent woman who spoke her mind and had quite a few tats but she warmly welcome me inside. I was a bit taken aback as there were kittens everywhere running around and I thought my gosh she is the mad cat lady ,
which is opposite me as I didn’t really care for cats.
To be honest they were a little bit cute and I found out why they were all inside as genetically they weren’t ordinary cats and they were the most sort after breed and I forget the type that they were but they were worth so much money each from memory way back then around three grand each and all were pre sold and had picked new owners by Anna all were just waiting to be old enough .
So we had a few drinks and both agreed that we weren’t going to actually have any romantic connection but remain good friends.
I would also say that on a few dates I did actually to get to kiss a girl or two but unfortunately things never went any further than that night.
I think that then I had my last meet and greet for a date that took place at a house Philip Island so at least it was close to home .
It was the same scenario as usual , attractive pic , good chat so all good so I thought,
We organised to have a catch up and a drink at her home , so I drove over the bridge not quite as excited as the first few times but still optimistic about the possibility’s . So I arrived at her unit and walked up the path and rang the doorbell .
I nearly jumped backwards when I saw the woman as she was pretty old , and I sort of thought that this was my dates mum she was like heaps older than her picture and she invited me inside.
I sat down on the couch and I soon found out this more mature woman was my date , I was horrified and so then I started giving her a hard time about using a picture on line from at least 20 years ago.
She had no valid reason for doing this other than to say it was a real photo of her , with said I wasn’t hanging around there so I politely excused myself and l got up and left , shaking my head in disbelief I headed home and because I had my close contact friends actual phone numbers and their facebook contact details as soon as I got home I turned on my computer and deleted the Oasis app.
I had had enough.
Prior to this I had talked to my friend in real life Tamara , about not being able to attract someone good to date on line and she said for me to try and write a different profile than normal and see if that works.
I wrote the following profile but I had now quit Oasis before I posted it , and because of its content I posted it up on the recent Melbourne cup day , so here’s a copy of that post . In case you haven’t seen it before.
. Hello everyone ,
My friend Tamara a few weeks ago , handed me a paper that I had written years ago and given to her to keep for me .
I opened the page and when I read the content I remembered the reason that I wrote it back then.
I had gone through a divorce a few years earlier and I had tried several times to get a date on a singles dating site with no luck .
Tamara suggested that I should write a different type of profile and maybe that would be more successful in helping me with finding a date.
So I sat down with a pen and paper and for some strange reason whats written on the page below just came out,
I sort of had a person in mind at the time of writing but I never used this profile as I had decided to stop internet dating and I don’t think that I ever posted it publicly either.
Since it is now the Melbourne cup and the spring racing carnival, in Victoria
I thought that some people might enjoy reading this and enjoy the humour in its content and its context.
Ps I know very little about horse racing and my profile is called,
NEIGHBE YOU.
Hi there ,
im Curly, and I am looking for a woman for a casual friendship and possible relationship ,and I thought id be a little humorous and write my profile from the point of being a racehorse .
I hope that you like it.
Im a thourghbred gelding,and this boy is ready to run .
Im usaully quick to jump and fast out of the stalls , but I think that a slower,more settled start this time around may be more suitable , and I would certainly be quick to get up on the pace .
I have sprinted before and I definantly dont mind the challenge of a few hurdles ahead, but I would prefer really to settle in on the rail for the long distance .
I have had a few starts with various results and I certainly have come first on big occasions , but I would prefer and be more suited to be backed into second place , and this time around and maybe ill need the blinkers on to concentrate on what lies ahead. I do like to kick up the heals as well as spending the quiet time grazing whilst on a spell.
Im consistent on any type of track but I do favor the wet.I really respond extremely well to a female jockey.
I have been in a good paddock and fortunantly I havent been handicapped into carrying too much weight , but I could use a bit of extra track work in the spring to tone up and Im biting at the bit for another start , and I would love to find a cute mare or filly to run with and I can certainly handle the pressure when she puts me under the whip ,and I can also be trusted to be given a loose rein and I wont bolt or panic . I have been vet checked and immunised and I do come with a clean bill of health .im also quite good at communication but I dont think I talk quite as much as Mr Ed.
I have sired two previous stallions that have already left the stable for greener pastures , but its fine if you have your own .I am comfortable with or without shoes , and I have spent most of my time around country tracks, but I do also travel well.
Im a good honest runner,
what are the odds that we should meet?
And you be my number 1, Maybe its you in a photo finish neck a neck beside me
If this were the results , id be more chuffed than winning the cox plate and you would be sure to get a good ride, so you should back me in and put your money on me.
Are the horses on the track?
Happy punting
Cheers
Curlyg