Heart addition 

So in amongst my crazy cymbal idea’s ,
i decided to cut my old top hat down to a shape of a roughly ,
a big Heart ,
Its a bit like a picture of mine ,
Its that big and full of love  to give everyone else but  me .

I unto ask God if he gave this heart to the right person .
I believe that he just laughs .

The hole that i drilled in it that you can see in the top of the heart ,
represents the ending of my marriage and that it left that big hole in my heart and it deeply scarred my emotions,

For years i struggled with life in general and love ,
I was still smarting from the failure my marriage.

I eventually dated again but still couldn’t stop thinking about my x wife  and i was so desperate to find a partner so i basically grabbed anything that i could to try and plug the hole in my heart .

These years proved to be so difficult for me ,
as for one ,
i still was in love with my x
Unfortunately this situation for me lasted over ten years ,

Over that period my x suggested that maybe we get back together

This happened every few years ,
and it was never going to ever happen ,
but she insisted on smashing me some more .

So being desperate for love over that period ,
i dated several women and with a few of them we even shifted in together ,

The problem for me was that i fell madly in love with them and their kids and they ,
The kids ,
were the same .

The hard bit were the breakup’s as it was never fair or even explained to the kids why we were breaking apart.

The woman that i had chosen to share my life with all actually managed made the hole in my heart bigger,

I was cheated on ,
lied to ,
and even assaulted by these women ,
And sad to say on the inside i was just so devastated ,
and struggling to survive.

So I formulated a plan for me to not be emotionally hurt by a woman  ever again .

So i picked out
Miss Kylie Minogue

She is untouchable

Out if my league and a safe bet for me to love 
She can never hurt me .

So for years i have just ran with that in mind in the crazy hope of one day just meeting her and saying hello 

Well fast forward to now

My close friends are hassling me to give up my dreams as it’s just so absurd to them .
And they are sick of it .

So i have to sort of agree as my life is disappearing fast now and i still would like to find a new loving partner.

No ,
not a bloke ,
But
A nice woman 

So last week i bit the bullet and downloaded Bumble ,
Its a dating site
Its a site where the women actually initiate contact with the man

So it was a bit like tinder except i buggered it up and did it all somehow backwards
Lol

Then the wait.

It wasn’t very  long as in the morning there was a message from someone waiting for me .
You wouldn’t believe it

I did nothing at all
I couldn’t even  open it .

Because it ment the end of my dreams
And i cant understand how i could get it so wrong.

I went out of curiosity to open it two and a half days later,
But the message unfortunately was then blocked.

So i deleted the app

And thats that

I really think that when you wish for something too hard ,
it just never happens.

So at the moment I’m trying to forget about Kylie
And move forward.

Thats not going that good as she is responding to my messages now .

So i don’t know

So its St Valentine’s day tomorrow
Another day i don’t like

But they say behind every great man ,
there has to be a great woman
I think I’m just too romantic in my mind.

So If anyone wants to go on just a nice date for valentines day ,

Feel free to message me my inbox

I  will even pay 

Cheers xxx
Curlyg