Hello everyone 

I woke up this morning  with a pain in my heart ❤️ a pain in my head and not actually very happy at all

So ill try and explain my position  to you all ,
as best and as simply as i possibly can 

To me there are lots of different types of pain 

Emotional 
Physical 
Mental 
And that bloke at the pub

Emotional pain is difficult to deal with thats for sure 

But you can use different techniques to deal with that like counciling sessions 
Talking to friends 
Meditation 
Prayer 
Etc

Physical pain most people go to the doctors for that one and hopefully recovery is fast  depending on the situation one is in

And i sort of bleed 🩸 
every day 

Mental pain on the other hand can at times be the very worst kind of pain because most of us just use substances to mask over the problem such as alcohol and drugs of all sorts as our saving grace because it brings us all instant but very short lived relief ,
from our thoughts 

The easiest way to fix the pain in the ass at the pub if necessary ,
is a quick punch in the head.

So everyone , 
all of us feel some sort of pain periodically during the course of their lives 

Unfortunately for me im a bit different than the average person.

I seem to cop it in some form or another ,
almost every single day and i have really ever since birth 

I am not usually a winger at all ,
I put up and shut up and in fact i try and annalise nearly  everything in my life including pain and I try as hard as l can to reach an understanding of the situation in my mind and move forward then in to tomorrow 

This theory and practice worked pretty much for most of my life until about twenty years ago and things got  much worse for 
me and life just continued on around me 

I have also had a lot of fantastic experiences and met so many fantastic good people in my life that i am so grateful for ,
as i honestly 
I am also quite blessed and I have thousands of people that i call my friend ,
even though some of them may beg to differ 

I have had a lot of work experience in the real world that would both test out your metal ,
your mind capacity and your physical capabilities and i’m also so grateful for  that also 

So where were we?

Ohh 
Like everyone i have also had a lot of bouts of what they all call happiness in my lifetime ,
Through various and many types of sporting clubs , 
fishing 🎣,, socialising and family and through ❤️ love

I was lucky enough to fall in love when i was a younger man and i got married and had children and i thought for a few years that i was actually living in heaven on earth and  I was actually happy and living the dream 

Unfortunately like many relationships and under the circumstances at the time 
it was not reciprocated ,
and unfortunately like too many couples our relationship came to an abrupt  and quite  a traumatic end 

I was burning the candle at both ends trying to to be a good father and partner and for three months I basically did not sleep more than two hours a day just to meet a deadline on a house that I renovated  to better my family’s life.

I was drinking heavily and smoking lots of pot at the same time 
And after the job was done and we lived there i was still  smoking lots of pot 
But it changed form and it then changed my life forever 

There was a new pot available on the market which was no big deal as i had been smoking dope for decades already and seen it change form several times in that period 

Only now it was hydro
A super strong chemical based growing system bud that blew everyone away so much more than natural bush bud 
I absolutely flipped my shit smoking  it and i soon found myself in Flynn unit which is a mental hospital for crazy people ,
and my problem with that is i was not crazy at all
Just totally embarrassed and emotionally shattered

A bit of mental  pain  i guess,
I sort of used the experience of mental hospitals as a learning curve and i studied the system while was their guest a few times , 
not that many times really but once while on holiday trying to run away from my horrible life and start fresh but it completely backfired, 
I did discover something interesting though the Queensland mental health system , that it was so much better than Victorias all though it still wasn’t perfect ,
it was pretty good 

They then held me prisoner of the crown against my will for a while longer than necessary because they wanted me to agree with them to leave the state of Queensland and for me to return to Victoria to live 

Im a pretty stubborn  person so i didn’t agree to that at all ,
so my stay there was extended until eventually i caved in and I agreed with the Queensland government ,
to return to Victoria on my pending  release 
So i did honour that crazy aggrement

Things were a bit tough and i was contemplating suicide for the two thousandth time at least in my lifetime and i was very unhappy  in life 

Like i said once somewhere i am not a winger
My torment was all in my heart and my head 
Except for like my beautiful and one of my best friends Fay 
Like in any separation you loose a certain  amount of of your friends 
Some stick with you 
Some stick with your X 
Despite my X begging Fay to dump me 
Fay did not comply
And she stuck Fat with me 

I thought that i was so much in love with my X that Fay put up with me sooking up about how much and how badly i wanted her back for no shit ,
over ten long years

Because i am a person that every story that i have written in my life was in my mind just yesterday 
That poses me a unique problem 
Forgiveness is really hard for me to achieve in a bad break up situation because twenty years now is like last week to me

So I really struggled mentally for so long suicidal thoughts were at times daily 
I would question God and beg him to take away my pain because i couldn’t kill myself
Not that i hadn’t thought about it , but it does break his first commandment 

So soldier on Curlyg

So no business , no family no money no  bloody happiness 
That is such a big part of my life situation 

I did believe at the time when i was King and in top of the world in the new house that i had found the secret to that euphoric state 
It was simply Love
I thought in my mind that when im in love that i can achieve absolutely anything in life that i want

Thats great in theory if you have a partner 
So for me it just doesn’t actually work 

So i tried a few techniques to counter mental illness at the time like lots if exercise and even a bit of theatre acting a bit of musical theatre also and eventually i turned my hand to writing about my life and situations effecting me personally 

Unfortunately you will never get to read any of it really as for various reasons most of it is gone now ,
hard drive and all

But everything you read that i have penned has been painstakingly written just with one finger on my phone and now to make it more difficult Ai tries to take over all the time and i have to re write so much stuff because of that shit its such a pain ,
in my finger

So In the early days of writing my life problems down on paper ,
the pages would be wet with  drops of my tears as i wrote everything that was troubling me at that particular moment of time on paper ,
it hurt me that much as nothing much can actually make me cry except for emotional trauma of joy like weddings can also do it to me

Later 
i actually graduated my writing on to a lap top computer ,
but still i persisted with just one finger typing lol

Old Mrs Parker ,
would  be smashing my hand  hard as hell with a ruler for my crime although if she was still alive ,
and standing in my office behind me 

I sometimes grin thinking that very thought 
She tried hard with me to make me type properly 
God bless her 

So i could keep rambling on like this forever but i wont 
Because im sick of winging about everything thats going on in Australia 🇦🇺 

I loved my country so much when i was younger and i was so proud to be an Australian 🇦🇺 Citizen 
My position has now unfortunately changed and not by drinking Whiskey 
But by everything i see going on around me i’m  surrounded by Australian government corruption ,
and i dont like it at all

I have been also lucky enough at times to travel to just a few other countries in my lifetime 
In all of them government corruption is a massive problem that is not hidden away in some countries it is right out in the open ,
if you want to notice in between the palm trees and your pina collada  and loving the holiday the local people are suffering 

I have no choice but to but to notice and talk to the people about their lives

I always thought in my mind thank God ,
Australia is still a free democratic country and how lucky and privileged i am to live here in our society 

Well haven’t things changed here ?

Actually not really ,
the veil of secrecy on our government corruption is slowly lifting  even with all of our government propaganda in the media 
Their blundeing 
Their book keeping 

We now have ourselves a Whiskey swilling lying Prime Minister that broke all the rules of engagement a while ago and hand picked a comrade and he  self appointed our new governor general against all political protacol  so he can be guaranteed to not be able to be removed from office by anyone 

The bullshit of One Nation and Pauline Hanson being our next PM makes me feel sick its such a big fat public lie 
Its just not legally even possible 

But that way of public thinking  here is totally the fault of our Australian 🇦🇺 media
And their propaganda 
I do understand that situation completely ,
and i hope that one day soon  that situation changes dramatically 
and we the people make all government misinformation in Australia 🇦🇺 totally illegal 

We might then get some really good news broadcast for once and  all be  a bit darn happier

So i guess i eventually i got that bloody shitty with the situation that i decided to to run my own people’s revolution 

 I 
Got a conformation from one person a few weeks ago ,
so i wrote back to them and thanked them for their support and  said that at lest that makes two of us 

So we are on a roll

Over this past year and especially lately my friends have been telling me to stop 🛑 completely as nothing has happened with the revolution at all in over a year

I am not a quitter 
So I would respond to them and apologise for making them unhappy and ask them to do me a favour block me ,
so they don't have  to read my shit anymore and we stay friends 

So I continued even with screaming matches with my great close mate Blacks couldn’t change me

I asked him to just stop visiting me ,
instead 
We came to a better understanding of the situation and he sleeps over a few nights a week to watch the football 

So eveything in life comes at a cost I believe 
This last year has cost me a few friends i guess and thats the price im paying for just penning down my opinions 

What price is Australia 🇦🇺 and you  now paying for a treasonous government structure?

It gets so much worse so quickly now 

They are all the Australian 🇦🇺 Labor party they all formed a pact together so many years ago ,
and then they invented the Greens and later One Nation 

Its a cleaver as plan and now you can see it unfolding in front of if your eyes and in your empty wallet 
And the bullshit is run in the media 
They have absolutely no no choice 

In one way it doesn’t effect me as bad as you ,
as I'm single and my wallet has actually been empty since my divorce and business sale 
So im used to it 

Its got to the stage for me now that my stay at the ranch may be soon over

I cant get another rental and if i only could ,
i just cant afford it ,
rents have risen so much now and in my personal opinion its totally because of mass immigration 

For the record 
One Nation signed on for that everyone 

I have to live in my car from then like thousands if ny fellow Australians and now the government announces that you will be fined $800 for sleeping in your car on your own or a family of four i believe have may actually to pay $3200 per night at the local footy oval but dont 
quote me on that its at least $800

Im so over it 

That if nothing changes i will change my position on life once more and start again in another country and not in our new 
Australia 🇨🇳China  town 

I understand things will be just as ,
or even more corrupt than here ,
Im prepared for that senerio  but in theory ,
 even though i will clearly see it in front of of my face 
i won’t be able to discuss it with  anyone,
 as i wont speak the language 

So it will be heaps better for  me and my mind than living in my old  country Australia 🇦🇺 

So if you agree with even some of the things that i have written about Australian 🇦🇺 politics lately do everyone a favour and go to the 
Australian 🇦🇺 Peoples Revolution 
 
And sign up for Freedom

And no matter what the result is
I will promise you ill try hard to man up and not cry anymore 

Have a nice day everyone 

Cheers xxx
Curlyg